Monday, October 13, 2008

TOUGH DECISIONS...

So far we are having a nice weekend here in Eastern Canada....until the rain came today (it's a long weekend for us)....but that won't stop us from doing what we have to.
I have chicken and stuffing going in the crockpot for supper. I would love to have turkey, being as it is thanksgiving, but my kids do not like turkey!!! I figured, what's the point, and settle for chicken and stuffing, mashed potatoes and veggies, and some kind of pumpkin dessert (haven't decided which to make yet)

This weekend has been tough on our oldest. I hesitated to post about it, but decided I would. She is almost 18, an excellent student, in French Immersion, works part-time, will graduate early from high school..etc....she has been dating a wonderful boy for 2 1/2 years. Up until they started dating, she wasn't all that interested in a boyfriend, and when she mentioned the idea of dating this guy, who at the time was 16 (almost 17) to her just 15, I said no. She asked if I would agree to meet him...I said okay, and that was it. They have been dating ever since...much to our surprise at first. Now he seems a part of the family. He is in his second year of university, taking business, and living at home, working part-time. Well, on the weekend, our daughter seemed sad. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she isn't sure what she wants anymore. She wants D to be a part of her life, but she doesn't know if she wants to be so serious at the moment...etc. We (DH and I) completely understand and told her to talk to D, and to explain how she feels. We know she is very young, has a wonderful future ahead of her, etc....it's hard to see her sad like this, and I knew from the beginning this would most likely happen at some point, as they are just too young, but on the inside I am very sad (not telling daughter this). I really do think of D as part of the family, and will miss him greatly if they break up. I am not looking for negative comments by posting this, I am just a little sad for all involved today. I do not like change in our lives. Having someone drop in for 2 1/2 years and then probably will not...is a change. I am glad that our daughter is mature enough to want to discuss her feelings with him, and I hope they at least end on some kind of good terms, should they do end their relationship.
Some of you may think it's shocking for a girl her age to have been dating someone so long, and had someone asked me 3 years ago if this would be the case with our daughter, I would has said definately no!! But one just never knows.
Thanks for listening, if you have read this far.
Have a great day!
Marion

5 comments:

saras said...

no matter how much you like the guy, just make sure you support your daughter, like I know you will!:) When I broke up with my first boyfriend, everyone in my family was "mad" at me! I figured they were sadder than I was... hugs to you both! I'm not at that stage yet, thankfully!:)

Leslie said...

No matter what your DD decides, support her, but I know you will and I just hope it can be "friendly" break-up. So you don't feel like he is just gone one day and in case her feelings change in time, of course. As you know things happen for a reason and so whatever happens, is supposed to happen for whatever reason :)

I started dating Jeremy right at the end of my Senior year. I met him around New Years and started dating his friend. I talked to him but never felt that I was interested. He called me up one day and asked me to come watch him play softball and I did. I still remember Jer picking me up and I was thinking that I didn't know why I was going with him because I didn't really like him! LOL We started talking several times a week and spending some time together on the weekends. All we did was go for rides and eat drive-thru! LOL Nothing big. Yeah, here it is ten years later and I have two kids and am married to the wonderful man! It was just meant to be! :)

My best friend also met her hubby around the same time I met Jer. Shannon was 15, Eric was 19. Her parents weren't happy with it but they started dating and it's been 11 years for them and they have a 4 year old and are married :) It CAN happen! LOL

Anyway....that has nothing to do with your situation other than people can start dating young and have it be their first real relationship and still make it work...even today!

Hugs to you and your DD!

Leslie

She Who Makes Waves said...

Your daughter is amazing, in all ways! She knows what she wants and what is important to her at such a young age. I admire her and would support her in her decisions!

Enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner! It sounds delicious!

Erica said...

I can relate quite well to your daughter. I started dating someone when I was 16. He was 19 and heading off to university. We just weren't sure where things would go or how they would go or anything.

I'm happy to say that 21 years later, we're married, have two beautiful boys and will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary next April.

Sometimes these things do work out the way they're meant and despite what Mom and Dad might think, sometimes the people in the relationship really do know where it's going.

All you can do is love and support her, just like all parents do. Who knows - in another 5 or 6 years he may end up as a son-in-law after all. :-)

Simply Heart And Home said...

I don't know where I've been that I missed your post. Your daughter is a mature young woman. Some teenager are more ready/mature and able to have a long term relationship. I am glad that she and her boyfriend had a good talk.